Cool quotes for Facebook status update

• Before I criticize someone, I walk a mile wearing their shoes! You
  know why? Because when they see hear me criticize them, I am a mile
  away and I have their shoes!
• The most darkest time is just before dawn, so if you are looking to
  steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the right time to do it! Lolz
• Do you think or feel that nobody in this world cares about you? Well, try missing on some credit card payments!
• The more you learn, the more you know, the more you know, and the
  more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother
  to learn? Hehe ~ Famous Saying
• Someday your prince will come. Mine took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions. ~ Anonymous
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. ~ J.B. Morton
• It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. ~Weinberg
• All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. ~ Jane Wagner
• I'm so poor I can't even pay attention. ~ Ron Kittle
• Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone
  wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one
  night. ~ Charlie Brown
• Do you wanna know how can you keep your profile visitors under total suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.
• I'm not as think as you drunk I am. ~ Mega Jones
• I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow. ~ Billy Connolly
• Never test how deep the water is with both your feet! If you have,
  just go swimming! If you don't know swimming%u2026why were you testing??
• Always save electricity! How would you feel if someone turns you on and leaves?
• It's good to be in a relationship! After all, you cannot blame everything on God and Government! Lolz
• Never aim of being irreplaceable! If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted!
• Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac ~ George Carlin
• Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. ~ Anonymous
• The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on. ~ Robert Bloch